The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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