They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
