he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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