Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
