It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
