Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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