I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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