Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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