all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
