i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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