1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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