the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Of course I have a pirate flag
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
there is puke in my bra ... again
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