I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
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I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
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Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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