Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
