I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
