Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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