he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Randomize