I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Randomize
