were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
