i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
