Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
