i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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