OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
