Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
