I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".