Redeem this text for a blowjob
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
my shit smells like andre
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.