Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.