I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
