but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
