I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
