I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
