i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
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We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I want to fling myself into the sun
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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