He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.â€
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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