he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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