how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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