You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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