somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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