what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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