yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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