Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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