so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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