hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
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