just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats