belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.