At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day