come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
