Texts From Last Night

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  (727): View more from Florida

  a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know

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  (727): a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know http://tfl.nu/finx
  Replies (35) Good night (4356) Bad night (872)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck

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  (252): I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck http://tfl.nu/v85x
  Replies (15) Good night (2425) Bad night (707)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.

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  (248): I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first. http://tfl.nu/88zr
  Replies (18) Good night (3605) Bad night (554)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."

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  (303): maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..." http://tfl.nu/5h2o
  Replies (81) Good night (1009) Bad night (6585)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet

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  (508): I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet http://tfl.nu/ryzv
  Replies (19) Good night (4766) Bad night (584)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer

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  (570): Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer http://tfl.nu/4zlr
  Replies (30) Good night (875) Bad night (2808)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.

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  (215): We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay. http://tfl.nu/xg35
  Replies (14) Good night (3174) Bad night (1686)
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  (575): View more from New Mexico

  I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.

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  (575): I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm. http://tfl.nu/2mds
  Replies (8) Good night (1514) Bad night (1450)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."

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  (248): Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent." http://tfl.nu/u4zv
  Replies (7) Good night (1757) Bad night (555)
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  (631): View more from New York

  fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic

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  (631): fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic http://tfl.nu/x558
  Replies (9) Good night (1863) Bad night (750)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.

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  (404): I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks. http://tfl.nu/r45q
  Replies (20) Good night (3710) Bad night (922)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.

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  (832): And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking. http://tfl.nu/dun3
  Replies (3) Good night (742) Bad night (458)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.

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  (270): He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE. http://tfl.nu/8wqq
  Replies (4) Good night (859) Bad night (395)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash

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  (516): Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash http://tfl.nu/gbbj
  Replies (7) Good night (832) Bad night (328)
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  (914): View more from New York

  She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.

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  (914): She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude. http://tfl.nu/hykh
  Replies (0) Good night (422) Bad night (359)

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