Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(347): View more from New York

tell your sister to shave her snatch

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(302): View more from Delaware

She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.

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(248): View more from Michigan

Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?

(1-248): View more from Michigan

Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.

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(703): View more from Virginia

Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(404): View more from Georgia

You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."

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(909): View more from California

He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.

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(773): View more from Illinois

Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is

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(805): View more from California

HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT

(1-805): View more from California

So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week

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