You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
