Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
