I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
In other news, I just burned my penis
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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