Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
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the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
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Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
This is my life. Enjoy the view
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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