You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
