it was like eating out sand paper
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
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Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
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This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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