Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
