bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Randomize
