Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize