I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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