The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
