Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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