when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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