the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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