watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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