I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
