How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
