was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Randomize
