A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
