"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
