I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Randomize
