she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
