There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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