i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Randomize
